Sunday, May 18, 2014

BREAKING: Assassination Attempt on El Menchito


Breaking News today from the Paulina Peña Pretalina Memorial Hospital in Mexico City. In what appears to have been an assassination attempt on the infamous El Menchito, members of the Jalisco cartel have reportedly provided over one dozen bouquets of flowers to El Menchito's room. Shortly after, multiple explosions occurred in the vicinity of the area leading to the complete destruction of the entire hospital wing. Authorities suspect the bouquets were filled with large amounts of plastic explosives.

Authorities have issued no comment in regards to the status of El Menchito nor others in the hospital at the time of the attack.