With Drug Cartels rampaging across northern Mexico, the Mexican government today began discussing whether or not to begin using drones to purge the cartel threat from its borders. Mexican Senator Jose Nieve proposed the creation of a drone program today. "It is the most cost effective method of killing people in the modern era!" he argued during a fierce debate. "You know nothing Jose Nieve!" shouted back another senator. "The monetary cost would be too great!" Opponents argued that more logical and humane methods should be used, such as continuing to give weapons to random civilians, establishing nationalist militias, and continuing to place suspected cartel members in the dungeon from the Count of Monte Cristo. "Civilians would be killed in the crossfire from these mindless drones!" protested Javier Ordonez, a man known nationwide as being a major pussy. "Everyone's doing it!" shot back Jose Nieve, "Do you want Mexico to be that kid who still has a Blackberry when every other kid has an iPhone? I think not!"
In the end it was ultimately the decision of the President of Mexico, Enrique Peña Nieto. "Enough debate!" he proclaimed, "as those of you who follow my Twitter feed (and if you don't you can find me @EPN) I recently met world famous actor Kevin Spacey at a tourism convention. During my time with him I became inspired by the aura of the man many know as the diabolical Francis Underwood from the hit TV show House of Cards (oh and have any of you seen season 2 btw omg!) . This inspired me to take lessons from his character and put them into practice to better our nation! Thus I have decided that we will begin a drone project immediately!" When asked where the drones were going to come from, let alone where the money to fund such a project will come from, he replied that “a recently concluded agreement will provide China with a year’s supply of tacos in exchange for a knockoff drone. Our Master of Coin is at work coming up with the funds, because for some reason we seem to be 8 million short."
